Darlings, today’s blog is written by the wonderful dating and romance expert, Lisa Copeland. I know many women struggle with dating, and it doesn’t matter what age you are! However, after 50, dating can be especially difficult. In this article, Lisa delves into bad behaviors (red flags) men can have and takes us through some great tips on how to deal with this.
You meet a man you finally like.
He seems to have everything you’ve wanted BUT . . . red flags are showing up in the way he treats you.
You hope it’s just a one-time thing due to a bad day.
Or you hope as he gets to know you, he’ll change. (IMPORTANT TIP TO REMEMBER: Men don’t change unless they want to change)
So you keep going out with him and…those red flags keep popping up.
Lots of women ignore red flags and end up settling for men that don’t treat them right because they don’t want to start all over in the dating pool.
I know beginning the dating journey again feels daunting but when red flags show up over and over again, even if he is a good guy, it means you’re tolerating behavior that isn’t ok.
In today’s blog, I want to help you identify 5 of these Bad Behaviors in men that you don’t want to be dealing with in a relationship you want to take to the next level.
Bad Behavior #1
He disappears and comes back with no good explanation.
You have 3 great dates with a man who seems to have all the qualities on your must-have list.
You laugh a lot, conversation comes easily and you’re beginning to like this guy, thinking he just might be the one.
Then he disappears, showing up again 6 months later, texting you that he has missed both you and your kisses but can’t seem to explain why he went AWOL.
If he was into you…he would have texted you during his hiatus.
After all, there is a popular gadget called a smartphone that can text and dial phone numbers from its contact list quite well from anywhere in the world.
A man would never tolerate this type of behavior from a woman nor should you in a man unless he tells you what happened in those 6 months…exactly why he went AWOL and why he’s back.
Bad Behavior #2
He texts to ask you out for a date only when he wants to go out.
This is thoughtless and is a sign of laziness or a fear of rejection.
He needs to man up and call you for a date.
Texting is impersonal and keeps you at arm’s distance.
A man who is into you wants to hear your voice and connect with you on a regular basis.
Bad Behavior #3
He’s always working or with his grandchildren.
If you have grandchildren, you know what a blessing they can be but there is a life beyond these cute kids and if a man wants a relationship with you, he’ll do what it takes to create the space and the balance in his life so he can see you.
If he doesn’t, he’s not into you.
By the way . . . The same goes for a man who lets work be his mistress.
Bad Behavior #4
He introduces you as “my friend.”
If a man is into you, he wants the world to know it.
He’s proud to have you on his arm and he’ll excitedly introduce you as this great girl he’s just met or if you’ve dated a while, as his girlfriend.
If he introduces you as a friend, he sees you as his friend and that’s not likely to change.
He’s not into you and you’ll want to move onto someone who is.
Bad Behavior #5
He always wants the date to happen at either your place or his place instead of going out
This is a recipe for a booty call.
The man is physically attracted to you and can literally charm the pants off of you.
He’ll say words that lead you to believe he’s into you.
He likes you but his mission is to get you into bed and that’s why he’ll always suggest intimate dinners at your place or his.
Then he disappears until he’s feeling the physical need again.
That’s when he’ll be back for more on his terms.
The problem is…when a woman has sex with a man, oxytocin is released and she can stay bonded with him for up to 3 weeks.
Sex doesn’t bond him to you.
You have the potential to get hurt from this type of relationship because chances are he’s just not into you…the same way you’re into him.
A man who is into you wants to make you happy and will do everything he can to make you feel loved, cherished and adored.
You’ll never have to guess with him.
Believing in you and your dreams of finding love after 50!
Have you experienced any of these red flags in your relationships? If so, tell me in the comments!
Lisa Copeland is known as the expert on over 50’s dating. She’s the best-selling author of The Winning Dating Formula For Women Over 50 and her mission is to help as many women around the world as she can discover how to have fun dating and finding their Mr. Right after 50. To get your FREE Report, “5 Little Known Secrets To Find A Quality Man,” visit www.findaqualityman.com.
Great article. Watch out for the guy who seems to be really interested in you and calls you all the time, but always has an excuse for not meeting you in person. The excuses can be pretty creative, so beware.
All of these are so correct-keep up the good work! Interesting stuff-but oh so true!
Yeah happened last night come to watch movie tried to put moves on me freaked me out
Hi,
I have recently re-entered a dating scene at age 44. I tried dating online and after couple of pretty bad dates I met a guy I’m currently dating.
He’s 56 year old and I’m very attracted to him and really like him. We have been on 5 dates, in 5 weeks, 4 of which ended up being either at his or mine place and we had sex, which was great.
After 3rd date I have sent him a text to ask if he’s still dating other people to which he replied , that absolutely not, he doesn’t have emotional space for that and that I’m more than enough.
I enjoy spending time with him and we are very relaxed and comfortable around each other, however neither of us has much money and our irregular working hours plus time we spending with our children means that we usually end up just visiting each other and yes… Having sex! And talk and cuddle. We didn’t stay the night yet, after the first attempt when neither of us got any sleep.
He drives for an hour one way to see me, we communicate (maybe not as often as I would like to) regularly between the visits, he’s always very charming, polite and we seem to be having lots of fun.
However I somehow still worry that he’s not as attentive as I would like him to be and that we will get stuck in this slow pacing routine of weekly sex and some communication in between.
It’s been 5 weeks, so we have been exclusive from the start. He mentioned from the start that things need to go slowly for him (obviously not sex lol) , otherwise it wouldn’t work and that he wanted to share that information with me because he didn’t want to play games.
I’m a bit confused about it all. Usually, in a past when I met a guy when he was in, I could clearly feel it. This time I keep getting worried that I might be over-investing in him prematurely.
I’m a very well educated, independent woman, with my own small business and two young children I co-parent with my ex 50/50. I’m told I look about 35, I am fit and healthy and have always been considered very attractive. Plus I have a wicked sense of humour.
How do I get this guy to reassure me without scaring him off? Is that even possible? Or will I have to at some point have the dreaded ” where is this going” conversation. If yes, how long should I wait?
The fact that he drives one hour to see you makes having a consistent relationship difficult. On the other hand, it is telling you he cares. He cares for one of two reasons…sex or sex and the joy in spending time together. I think you will be able to tell without saying a word if…you listen to your heart because hearts give us physical signals and he ether starts to drive the hour less and less or more and more! Before he comes the next time tell him you would like to make plans for the two of you to go to an inexpensive and delicious little restaurant for dinner or tell him you would like him to see your business, etc.to see if you like him as much out of bed as in bed! And, test him to see if he will still make the drive. Keep me posted. PS. Have confidence in the ‘you in you.’ You are a special woman, Warmly, Honey
I’m dating a very nice man over 50 never married one adult child. We have great weekends together but he’s a work aholic he’s married to his jobs
He works 70 hours a week so he can’t visit me during the week. He cares about me he’s ok for dating me
We have been dating 4 months. He initially was talking serious commitment then he freaked out and asked to slow it down. He will spend quality time with me on the weekend but by Sunday afternoon he’s ready for me to go home. He barely talks to me on the phone during the week just to make our upcoming plans and a few text during the day to say hello but he’s exhausted in the evenings from working long hours
I’m going with the flow but I’m concerned because he’s been this way for so long I’m wondering if I’m wasting my time especially since the work aholic is one of the red flags on this list in this Article
People don’t change. What you have now is what you will always have. He can’t change. The ball is in your court. I cannot make the decision for you. If I could wave my magic wand over his workaholic head and change his attitude I would. Warmly, Honey