Thursday Thoughts is a new column I’ve started so that I can address specific questions from my wonderful Darlings.

I look forward to reading your comments on www.honeygood.com,  my Facebook page, Instagram, and on LinkedIn. In the quiet of the day or evening I plop myself down and answer all of your questions and comments. We have a conversation sharing advice and thoughts. I often mention to my honey bees at www.honeygood.com that reading and answering your comments and questions fills my cup with happiness.

Why?

Because through our conversation across the Internet we have become friends.

My motto: Women Need Women.

I have found that I need you as much as you need me. Many of you write to me after reading my daily stories to thank me for my advise “I needed your words of wisdom today, Honey.”

I truly blush when I read your kind compliments, though I find it hard to accept praise I am deeply grateful and want to thank you. I write from my heart and from my years of experience – the good, the bad and the ugly. Though I am not a trained psychologist, I have a great deal of wisdom and my approach to all problems, large and small come from positivity. Every problem is solvable, darlings, I know.

I think of myself as a big pot of vegetable soup with all sorts of colorful vegetables floating around the pot, each one describing a part of me. I am wife, mother, daughter, grandmother, mother-in-law, sister, girlfriend, cancer survivor, an old soul, a world traveler, an author, a fashionista, I have a loving and blended family, I have been married twice and widowed once, I am CEO of HoneyGood.com, and as they said in the broadway play The King and I, “etc. etc. etc.”

Age is Just a Number

I am a woman well over fifty who knows that age is just a number, who lives life outside the box, who loves the word ‘curiosity‘, and has a strong set of values. I take the highroad, even when difficult, and stay visible and relevant because I look forward and not backward. I’m resilient, seeing the glass half full and living life to the fullest. In other words, Darlings: I have earned my PhD in life! 

I want to pass on my advise to you each Thursday on www.honeygood.com. So, please email me at honey@www.honeygood.com with a question, a problem, a suggestion and I will answer you to the best of my ability. And, maybe you will have suggestions for our readers and enter the conversation by emailing me at the same address. I look forward to our exchange of thoughts. Women need women. We need each other’s wisdom. It is a fact, many of your thoughts have stuck in my mind. You have taught me, too. I am smiling.

Let’s have a conversation to spread words of wisdom.

 

This Week’s Thursday Thoughts

 

Margo:

I went back to school and got my bachelor’s degree at 53. I graduated at the top of my class which included all students in both their regular day program as well as part-time program. I managed to get a job with a six figure salary and became the main breadwinner.

When I retired 12 years later I was truly worn down from the discrimination I felt because of my age. After such motivation and striving to get ahead in my field it’s astounding that I do not miss work in the very least. What I do miss is getting up everyday and getting dressed for work and feeling good about myself. I miss the sense of direction and the feeling of having something to look forward to.

Reply to Margo:

How proud you must be of your accomplishments. I applaud you for your drive and tenacity to return to college at 53 years of age to pursue your education, graduate at the top of your class and become the main bread winner of your family. Age discrimination against women is a Universal problem and fortunately in the spot light and I believe change is on the way.

I am most concerned with you and your emotional well-being. While I feel you have a lot to look forward to I understand why you are feeling blue and are directionless. This is normal because there is a let down phase when a person leaves a very important phase of their life. Your career provided you a purpose, social connections and a steady routine. Now you have to consider new avenues to occupy your time.

I suggest joining a group or starting your own. You are obviously a self starter. If you are interested in starting your own group, I can advise you. If you want to join a group there are several types of groups from dance to wine tasting to financial and travel and movie and several charity groups. This is a way to build a new social network, new bonds with others who enjoy your interest.

Your health is your main priority. So, get yourself up and out in the morning and attend a work out class. This will fuel your self-respect and your energy level and keep you fit. You are a student. Consider hitting the classroom or giving back by volunteering. And, consider looking up old friends. It is time Margo to move into the new. An adventure awaits you but it ultimately has to be up to you.

Warmly, Honey

 

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From Judy:

I want a reunion with a man I love who does not want me! Ugh. I wasn’t like this with the others. Never used the word “Soulmate” in my life prior to this man. It took 10 hard post-divorce years to find him. I loved being with him more than ANY man I have ever known. Nobody else has came close. And now he left me.

…Anyway, I know the drill. Pick myself up. Again and again. At this point I wish I were one of those women who have stopped looking for a mate. They seem happy and content. I can’t take another heartbreak.
..Okay, very sorry for the Self-Pity rambling.. I understand about self-care, etc. And I have 2 daughters. Must not set an example of weakness and misery.. Sigh. I know you can help me. What would you advise?

I was surprised and truly grateful to receive your compassion and wisdom. You do a wonderful job and I really appreciate it.

My Reply to Judy:

Eventually you will pick yourself up because the alternative of living a miserable life will not serve you well. I know you are heartbroken because I would be too. It is very important to grieve your loss. You will not be able to see the relationship in its proper perspective until you wake up one morning and feel like yourself again. Now it’s your time to think clearly, to diagnose why this relationship soured. When this happens you will clearly be able to identify what you need in a relationship AND what you are capable of giving in a relationship. Hurting takes time to heal, but I promise your hurt will eventually subside.

Just one more thought: Honor yourself and your feelings. Yes, other women enjoy living without a love, but you are not in that category. You want another soulmate – don’t try to be someone you’re not. The bottom line darling is to keep looking! Mr. Right is out there.

Warmly, Honey

 

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From Laura:

I have a problem; I really like my daughter in law and have enjoyed our family relationship. I am unhappy because she and my son have a new baby and my daughter in law only lets me have our new granddaughter for a short time, but drops off the baby at her mother’s house all day. I have talked to my son about this. He tells me to talk to his wife. I don’t want to upset my daughter in law and don’t know what to do. Please help.

My Reply to Laura:

Since there is no family strife going on between you and your daughter in law that would upset her mother, I suggest you become best friends with her mother, the other mother in law! I am quite certain she would love your help! 🙂

Warmly, Honey

 

 

 

 

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Also, if you have questions or comments for me to address in next week’s Thursday Thoughts, please email me at: askhoney@www.honeygood.com