Ask Honey – Advice for Women
Oh my! Oh My! It seems to be my new phrase of late! Meant as a positive, by the way.
I sit in wonder, shaking my head as your written questions on several different topics come into my box at askhoney@www.honeygood.com. My advice for women column every Thursday on HoneyGood.com has taken off Darlings, and I am beyond flattered and take my responsibility seriously. My philosophy on womanhood … ‘women need women.’ We are communicators, open to asking our peers for their perspective and advice on every topic under the sun, and over the moon for that matter. We are notorious participators, knowing that sharing is caring.
We Are All Queen Bees With Moxie
Women are all Queen Bees. Every one of us has earned this title because we have been buzzing around and blooming for at least 50 years! Lucky us. We all have Moxie. Having Moxie allows our fellow sisters into our lives when the going gets tough, or when we have a question on our minds.
Remember Darlings, a woman who shows her vulnerable side is a powerful woman.
Problems don’t have to be life threatening. We need advice on many subjects.
- How can I wear high heels if I have Bunions? Help me, Honey?
- I want to travel solo but I am afraid, and don’t know how to take the first step. What can I do, Honey?
- My lipstick won’t stay on. Does yours? If it does will you share your brand name?
- I am being bullied by an adult woman. What should I say?
- My husband retired and I am going crazy. Send advice quick!
- I am afraid to ask my husband to show me his will. What should I say to him?
- I have been living with my significant other for 15 years. I am like his wife. How can I ask my boyfriend if he is going to take care of me if something happens to him?
- I have Cancer. I am trying to make decisions. Please advise. I don’t know where to turn.
Well Darlings, you have me and the rest of the Queen Bees at Honey Good to give you sound advice. I will be your first responder, but for those of you who have something to add to my advice column, please chime in. Women Need Women Works!
Today’s Questions
Dear Honey,
I was very happy that you decided to add an important chapter of your life to your musings because I wondered why you had shied away from writing about your family life; especially your role as a mother and a grandmother. It was such a mystery to me because you are so open about the rest of your life. I am glad you explained the reason that rendered you immobile to write about your family life and your relationship with your grandchildren…one of your adult children wanted privacy for her family.
I have a very unpleasant situation that is holding me hostage by an adult child who has passive aggressive behavior and I don’t know what to do. Can you give me hope? Can you give me advice? I am angry and sad at the same time, now more angry than sad. This has been going on for a long time. Thank you, Honey.
With hope,
Candice
Hi Candice,
The passive aggressive person’s goal is to indirectly express anger without taking any responsibility. Unfortunately, I have had experiences with this type of behavior… I think we all have. Try this approach: disengage from the situation. Walk away. Gently say good bye on the phone and hang up. This is the only way to remove yourself from this type of behavior. If you have done everything in your power to get along with this person with no positive response from the person, I think you should ‘accept’ the situation and go ahead and lead a happy life.
Warmly,
Honey
Hi Honey,
I know you have bunions and opted out of surgery. I want to wear high heels like you wear. What is the secret? I love your musings, Honey. I wake up to them every day and read each one with my coffee. Thank you.
Hugs,
Sandy
Hi Sandy,
I have a formula that works. Buy your shoes one size larger and wear platform high heels. Your shoes will not feel too large on your feet and platforms keep your foot on one level. Sandy, I go into much more detail in this musing: How to Wear Heels After 50.
Have fun shopping!
Warmly,
Honey
From Millie,
We are a blended family that does not blend. I am a peace loving woman and want the families to spend the holidays together. We are lucky because our families live close to each other. My husband’s adult children miss their mom and don’t like seeing me with their father and my children want to be with us but feel guilty if they come and the others don’t. So they share the holiday without me! His children like me. They just miss their mom who passed away six years ago and don’t want to be sad over the holidays!!!
How can I fix this with so many people involved? I read you have a blended family so you can understand how I feel. I know you can Honey because I feel like you are my sister.
Wishing you and your ultimate concierge a happy holiday, Honey.
Millie
Hi Millie,
Adult children are always children. I think it would be lovely to invite them to lunch and tell them you understand how they feel, and that you would feel the same emotion seeing your father with another woman. Continue by telling them you want to be their friend, and that you promise them you will always take very good care of their father. Let them know that you love being part of their family and you want to make holidays a family celebration. If you are authentic I think you will be pleasantly surprised by their positive response.
Here is a link to a musing that I wrote about blended families… I thought this might help too: Honey’s Guide to Blended Family.
Warmly,
Honey
Honey, you seem to manage your time well – getting a lot done while enjoying yourself. I struggle to manage my time. Can you give me advice?