How to Reach for Happiness in 2025
As the New Year rolled in on December 31, 2024, I had hours to reflect on my life during the year of ‘24. The first thing that came to my mind was that it was the worst year of my life because it was filled with one disappointment after another. There were many days of struggle and never a day of total joy. I asked myself: how does a woman combat intolerable disappointments, utter sadness and survive? I still do not have an answer because this is the first time in my life that I see my glass as half empty.
Just before the clock struck midnight on December 31, 2024, I welled up in tears and gave each tear permission to gently roll down my cheeks. I thought about other very traumatic years in my life — the year my late husband suddenly passed away from a fatal heart attack. The year I found out I had cancer. And, the year my young grandson found out his young wife would pass away with ovarian cancer. Somehow, these were major disappointments but not as severe as the one I am faced now. The support of family members played a crucial role in overcoming those past disappointments, highlighting the importance of close relationships in maintaining emotional well-being.
I asked myself how I overcame those disappointments. I realized I overcame them because I had hope. Now, I no longer have hope.
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The Feeling of Hopelessness and Mental Health
As 2024 ended I found myself feeling hopeless and the feeling is as awful as the sound of the word.
My soulmate, my ultimate concierge and love of my life has a form of vascular dementia that will worsen. Over the last year I have been both caregiver and manager of our lives. You see, sweet reader, my ultimate concierge and I are no longer the ‘Good Team.’ I am the team. From accounting, lawyering, financial decisions, tending to my husband’s daily needs, and everything in between, I am in charge. I do not feel sorry for myself yet I am burdened with a sadness that never leaves. Feeling stressed is a common experience in such situations, but engaging in enjoyable activities like laughter and mindfulness can help alleviate stress and improve overall well-being.
Where is the hope?
I am also left without family relationships. Yes, I am an estranged mother and grandmother. I have finally given up on any hope of reconciliation. And, this is very painful.
Where is the hope?
Without hope one has a hard time surviving her ordeal.
A few days have passed since I had this emotional meltdown. it is now January 3, 2025. I am now trying to look back on the year of 2024 as a transformative year of personal discovery while coming to terms with the realization that in 2025 I am going to have to be brave and live through the pain and struggle. But how with so much loss and sadness in my wake?
It’s Time to Take an Inner Journey
I am telling my story because I know there are many women who have lost hope because they are facing devastating and disappointing passages in life.
During times of utter disappointment, loss, and hopelessness is a time to take a spiritual and inner journey without embellishment but with clarity into your mind. The goal is to find a tiny spark that will lead you to a small tapestry of contentment. This is what I am trying to do and it is not easy.
As women over 50 we are wise, strong, and creative. We have the tools to find a means of personal contentment while facing our disappointments and hopelessness. What I find happening is that the source of our unlimited personal power is buried so deeply beneath our serious problems that we have difficulty thinking about that spark that can bring a bit of clarity. The process that I am referring to is self-care. Self-awareness and personal growth are crucial aspects of this process.
During a time of hopelessness is the time to take an inner journey, not an outer one, into your mind to find some type of tapestry of contentment. Yes, I would like you to take the time to take a mental and spiritual inventory of your personal life. Ask yourself, what can you do to relieve some of your torment as you are faced with a disappointing and sad passage at your doorstep? I know the answers but I am too sad and weary to seek it.
As of yet, I have not found my footing and truth be told, I don’t know when I will. I am being totally authentic and showing my vulnerability and I feel a fierceness that I am able to expose myself with no qualms. I am Honey Good and I am aching with sadness and grief and it won’t go away because of the reality of the situations.
This is my time to grieve my husband’s illness and the loss of my family and grieve I will — until the day I won’t. I am not coming from weakness — I am coming from truth.
Understanding the Importance of Mental Health
The impact of mental health on overall well-being
Mental health is a cornerstone of our overall well-being, influencing every aspect of our lives. When we prioritize our mental health, we can experience a more balanced and fulfilling life. Improved mood, increased resilience, and enhanced cognitive function are just a few of the benefits. On the flip side, neglecting our mental health can lead to decreased productivity, strained relationships, and a lower quality of life. By acknowledging the importance of mental health, we can take proactive steps to maintain a healthy mind and body, ensuring a better quality of life.
The role of positive emotions in a happier life
Positive emotions like gratitude, joy, and love are essential for a happier life. When we focus on cultivating these emotions, we can experience increased happiness, life satisfaction, and overall well-being. Positive emotions broaden our perspective, boost our creativity, and strengthen our relationships. Incorporating activities that promote positive emotions into our daily routine, such as practicing gratitude or spending time with loved ones, can significantly improve our mental health and increase our chances of finding happiness.
Prioritizing mental health for a better life
Making mental health a priority is crucial for living a better life. By focusing on our mental well-being, we can improve our relationships, increase our productivity, and enhance our overall quality of life. This involves practicing self-care, seeking social support, and engaging in activities that promote mental well-being. By taking care of our mental health, we can navigate life’s challenges more effectively and increase our chances of finding happiness.
How to Search for Clues and Finding Happiness
For all of you who are ready to move forward I suggest you ask yourself what makes you happy. If you don’t know, start by keeping a Journal in order to discover what specifically triggers feelings of delight in your daily life. Play Detective Clousseau as you search for clues.
The pursuit of happiness is an inalienable right guaranteed by the Declaration of Independence. But you have to be willing to pursue it. Genuine happiness, self-care, can only be realized once you commit to making it a top priority. Maintaining a positive outlook and spending time on enjoyable activities can significantly contribute to your happiness. As my friends and acquaintances say, ” You have to take care of yourself.” I am passing on their message to you.
Ask yourself what you truly need. It is easy to lose clarity on what we truly need to live authentically. It is crucial to distinguish between your wants and your needs. Don’t allow your wants to supersede your needs. Ask yourself, “What do I really ‘need’ to make me happy as I travel through this passage of life. Each of you will have a different answer. The reason I am so bereft is because my needs are unattainable — a healthy hubby and my family. I have a long road to hoof, but hoof it I will.
Nurturing Physical Health for Well-being
The connection between physical and mental health
Physical health and mental health are deeply interconnected. When we prioritize our physical health through regular exercise, healthy eating, and adequate sleep, we can experience significant improvements in our mental health and overall well-being. Conversely, neglecting our physical health can lead to decreased mental health and increased stress. By acknowledging this connection, we can take a holistic approach to maintaining our well-being, ensuring that both our mind and body are in harmony. Practicing gratitude for our physical capabilities and taking steps to nurture our physical health can lead to a happier, more balanced life.
Find Your Harmony
I was listening to an opera yesterday and I thought of the evening my ultimate concierge and I attended a ballet at the Bolshoi Theatre in Moscow. What a magical evening in the majestic small theatre. Sitting next to the love of my life I felt harmony and deep love between us. I felt grateful as I squeezed his hand resting in mine. Our life was in order. I felt peace.
As the world turns, I have that deep love and I am grateful but harmony and peace evade me.
Harmony is the feeling of an inner cadence of contentment when the melody of life is in tune. Face-to-face interactions can help achieve this harmony by providing a greater mental boost and a sense of connection. When turbulence comes, it is difficult to strike the right cord to balance ones life. This is a most difficult challenge for me and for many of you because the distractions of daily life deplete our energy.
As 2025 rolls in, we all are wise enough to know that everyone’s life is filled with joys and disappointments. It is the nature of the beast. How we handle our woes is up to us.
When All Else Fails, Trust Your Heart
For those of us facing disappointments I leave you with this:
Trust your heart to give you the answer to your need. It is 100 percent truth that once you acknowledge your need — you will find it because there is no greater wisdom than the message from your heart. It knows. Many people struggle with similar issues, and finding ways to reduce stress can significantly help in navigating these challenges.
I sigh as I end this Sunday Story. I have no illusions. My heart knows what lies in front of me. As my friends and grandchildren tell me: You always see your glass half-full and you are strong. For the first time in my life, I beg to differ.
HAVE YOU FACED THIS FEELING? HOW WERE YOU ABLE TO REACH FOR HAPPINESS? PLEASE SHARE WITH ME IN THE COMMENTS.
HAVE YOU FACED THIS FEELING? HOW WERE YOU ABLE TO REACH FOR HAPPINESS? Reducing stress is a common goal for many people facing similar challenges.
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JANUARY 5, 2025
PASSAGES AFTER 50
- Sandrala says:January 5, 2025 at 5:45 am
Honey, Technically speaking, a healthy hubby & family are WANTS not NEEDS! I have been single all of my life and was estranged from my drinking family for over 23 years until my dear, misunderstanding father disowned me financially because he declared me “ungrateful & not a nice person” due, I guess, to my Bipolar Disorder & behaviors that I do own. As you know, I have survived serious cancer 3 times plus been on kidney dialysis for over 7 years now ,,, I am 75 years young & in a care community. I am also a recovering alcoholic w/ over 44 years of sobriety. I have learned alot from you due to your grace, openness, and dignity. Keep writing!! As you know, HOPE is an inside job. Sounds like you might be getting ready for your exiting Third Act!! — Sandrala
- Susan Good says:February 6, 2025 at 7:53 am
I have hope and tenacity but grief is love and I adore my ill ultimate concierge so I am stuck in grief. I really don’t think I will ever be the same and this worries me because I love life and all it offers but this situation has given me doubt about my positive strength. I see no wins. But, I will hope. I am glad you are fine. Happy belated New Year. Warmly, Honey
- Susan Good says:February 6, 2025 at 7:53 am
- Amanda Smith says:January 5, 2025 at 6:58 am
Honey, Thank you for being so open and honest. This really struck a cord in me. The New Year’s beginning has been difficult for me as well, and last night I broke down in tears with the weariness of it all. Reading this has given me hope that I’m not alone. You understand. I applaud your courage to share your journey so openly. It helps women. It helped me. You’re a hero. Thank you!
- Susan Good says:February 6, 2025 at 7:49 am
I am glad I was able to help you a bit. We all have trials. Some are just so devastating. I am in devastation mode. Grief is love. Warmly, Honey
- Susan Good says:February 6, 2025 at 7:49 am
- Irene says:January 5, 2025 at 7:24 am
Thank you for sharing your truth. It is sad . You do have wonderful times to look back on. But you are in the here and now. With many things to manage I’m honestly holding your hand , looking into your eyes , sitting with you and knowing, this too shall pass😔 and we go forward together ❤️.
- Susan Good says:February 6, 2025 at 7:45 am
Thank you for holding my hand. I need it. How very kind and loving of you. I am very appreciative. Warmly, Honey
- Susan Good says:February 6, 2025 at 7:45 am
- Leslie Steinberg says:January 5, 2025 at 7:25 am
I can so relate and this was lovely and comforting to read. I too have been dealing with my husband’s health for years. 2024 was constant and I was wiped out. We did get lucky so hoping it continues. With that I have been dealing with a daughter, my step daughter that has such hatred and ager towards me. I never felt this from anyone. It’s horrible. I did everything with such love and I know she knows this but the hurt is awful. She is in her 30’s. I am sending love and such appreciation for your words. You can feel the love you and your ultimate concierge have for one another. Take it slow,
- Susan Good says:February 6, 2025 at 7:44 am
Leslie- I want you to try and relive yourself of this burden with your step daughter. Look in the mirror and say, “This is not about me. I have tried and been blocked. This is about her. It is my time to drop the rope and surrender to her toxicity and replace it with positivity.” I have learned that we cannot change the minds of others. So surrender.It is not weakness to surrender. It is empowering. Thank you for sending love.I am struggling like I have never struggled before because grief is love. Happy belated New Year. I am glad your husband is doing better. Warmly, Honey
- Susan Good says:February 6, 2025 at 7:44 am
- Elizabeth K Steeb says:January 5, 2025 at 8:05 am
Almost 3 years ago I lost by husband of 50 years to ALS. As devastating and sad as it was for us, he was content. He said, no shame in life, no fear in death, this is the power of Christ in me. He had abundant, nonwavering hope; this gave us hope. He read scripture daily and he was happy with his lot. He smiled at us. I suggest you hire a full time care giver and find your rock. Read scripture to him daily. Also, sing to him. He will find peace and so will you. In time your joy will miraculously reappear!
- Susan Good says:February 6, 2025 at 7:47 am
Thank you for your advice, Elizabeth. I do have a full time caregiver but she cannot take care of my grief. Tried is love. Warmly, Honey
- Susan Good says:February 6, 2025 at 7:47 am
- Lib 572 says:January 5, 2025 at 8:38 am
Oh goodness I am sorry for your burdens . You have given so much to the community you have created so I hope you can feel support flowing back to you . Much love and care to you at this hard time xx
- Susan GoodFebruary 6, 2025 at 7:38 am
I do feel support! Sending much love back to you and wishing you, a belated happy New Year. Warmly, Honey
- Susan GoodFebruary 6, 2025 at 7:38 am
- Joyce SmithJanuary 5, 2025 at 9:55 am
Honey you are not alone as you well know , I am proud of you for sharing ! New years is a time at looking at changes , what your goals are , where to ,travel etc ! Stop at take it one day at a time finding one little thing that makes you happy! I am 85 had a stroke still in therapy , hand and arm have never moved in 2 1/2 years but I haven’t give up on my right leg walking … I’m making progress! A tragedy in our family 9 years ago left one granddaughter dead and the other granddaughter in prison …I think about it every day and relive it! Each granddaughter belonged to my two sons ….they have not spoken to each other since The son with the daughter in prison doesn’t speak to us or his sister he blames it on us! I feel for ,We have had counseling They find it hard to believe ! If you want to look up the story you can go to Cobb countyGa……two cousins 9 years ago … stabbing !Without tote help of friends…God…my daughter …My daughters helps me to keep going…self care! My husband and I have been married 65 years and he struggles everyday …could no longer take care of our home ….so we are in assisted living! My story is longer but you get the idea….my life has been s—- for the last 9 years but somehow by the grace of God I am still here and I have today … thank you for Tellinng your story I admire you !!
- Susan GoodFebruary 6, 2025 at 7:37 am
I admire You!!! What grief and all the other emotions you have been through. You are still standing strong and you are a role model. Thank you for sharing your story. Everyone’s life has hills and valleys. Yes, you have today. Ride your wave. Warmly, Honey
- Susan GoodFebruary 6, 2025 at 7:37 am
- Wendy says:January 5, 2025 at 11:22 am
Dear Honey;
Thank you for your openness in revealing your grief.. I lost my husband in April 2023 after he had a long heart failure decline. It was so hard to watch. There was anticipatory grief before and deep deep grief since. But I am surviving and thriving. Enjoying travel with friends and daughters, trying new activities and slowly changing my perspective on life. Changing my routine is a big one.
- Susan Good says:February 6, 2025 at 7:34 am
Thank you for taking the time to write to me. I am so glad you are trying new activities and traveling. Thank you for your advice. I am trying. Warmly, Honey
- Susan Good says:February 6, 2025 at 7:34 am
- Robbin Burstein CloseJanuary 5, 2025 at 11:50 am
I have been following your journey since the beginning. I am sending you LOVE and know your other readers will too. I could tell that your darling husband was not well. You have been a strong woman for years. I am like you in many ways and can relate. I won’t go into the ways now. I just want you to know, we are all out here and send you love and strength to get through this part of your life.
- Susan Good says:February 6, 2025 at 7:30 am
I know we have common thoughts. Thank you for sending your love. I am in the throes of deep sadness though I try, try, try to weather this storm of grief. What can I say except thank you for reaching out to me. I really am touched and grateful. Warmly, Honey
- Susan Good says:February 6, 2025 at 7:30 am
- Kathleen Greer says:January 5, 2025 at 3:56 pm
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. You just have to go through it! And you will! Self care is the first priority. And as for grandchildren estrangement, I cherish the old times when they were young. Now, they are 25 and 27 and it is not that I do not see them, it is the fact that they are cold and indifferent that saddens me. Woke! An epidemic that is on the rise. I focus on my own blessings and through my travels, I have learned to share a kind word and recognize when complete strangers are alone and suffering. I have a home and all the creature comforts. We have hope with the changes that are on the way. You will stay in the moment and make new memories. You too, have a special gift! Rest when you must, but get back in that saddle! Kathleen
- Susan Good says:February 6, 2025 at 7:28 am
I think Woke will vanish thanks to the new administration and Americans by the millions speaking out against this awful way of life. I am sorry for you about your grandchildren. I do feel they have some of your wisdom in their heads. At least, I hope so. Warmly, Honey
- Susan Good says:February 6, 2025 at 7:28 am
- Diane Shehane says:January 5, 2025 at 4:35 pm
Honey, I am so sorry to hear this about your ultimate concierge. I do understand I hopeless feeling that you have. My husband fell at home a month ago and because of his fracture going through his spinal column, he may not be able to walk again. There is a small chance with intensive rehab that he will be able to. It’s been quite a nightmare of surgery, hospital and managing his pain. I have been his caregiver for a couple of years now as he has a lot of health problems. I’m trying to take one day at a time and take care of myself the best that I can. Sending you a virtual hug as I know how hard it is when your life isn’t the same anymore and the husband that you love so much is not the man that he was before.
- Susan Good says:February 6, 2025 at 7:25 am
Sending you a virtual hug back. There are no words…. Warmly and in friendship, Honey
- Susan Good says:February 6, 2025 at 7:25 am
- Linda Ricketts says:January 5, 2025 at 4:54 pm
I am so sorry that you and your husband will be going through this. Can’t even say “hope it gets better” because you know it won’t. You need hope to keep you sane. Again, I am sorry
- Susan Good says:January 12, 2025 at 9:40 am
Thank you for your caring note. I am doing everything I can to help my husband stay stable. He is not declining and this is giving me the will to carry on. I wish you a fruitful New Year in 2025. Warmly, Honey
- Susan Good says:January 12, 2025 at 9:40 am
- Dorothy says:January 5, 2025 at 4:58 pm
Honey, I totally feel your words. Like you I have always been an optimist, but I am also a realist. I think situations like you are currently living require understanding the realities. Facing those when they are insurmountable wears one down daily. I am facing caring for my two elderly parents. 91 and 87. I am an only child. My husband just recently began showing memory loss issues and has a severly elevated PSA. We are working through this……. Each day, I come to the end of the day exhausted physically and emotionally. I have no time for myself. Their just aren’t enough hours in the day to meet all the needs. Bless you lovely lady. Yes, we will “hoof it ‘and move forward. Thank you for being you and being open and transparent ……. it helps others realize we are not alone.
- Susan Good says:January 12, 2025 at 9:35 am
Please find time for yourself. Light a candle, take a warm bath, get a mani and pedi, lunch with a friend, take your dog for a peaceful walk, if you have one, exercise. Do something. Self-care will help you weather your grief. Thank you for your kind words. Warmly and in friendship, Honey
- Susan Good says:January 12, 2025 at 9:35 am
- Sandy says:January 5, 2025 at 9:40 pm
My heart goes out to you, Honey! You are doing what you need to do at this time in your life. You are authentic, true to yourself and your needs/ feelings. You are in a difficult time. Take the time and walk this journey. You have many friends, supporters and friends who are family. Lean on them when needed and remember, we are not meant to be islands. All the best to you and your ultimate concierge.
- Susan Good says:January 12, 2025 at 9:31 am
Thank you for your kind words and advice, Sandy.You are right…no man is an Island. No man can stand alone. Warmly, Honey
- Susan Good says:January 12, 2025 at 9:31 am
- Cathy Creed says:January 5, 2025 at 9:50 pm
Honey, my heart feels your sadness and I have had similar feelings in past years. Thankfully, they are in my past and I lived on to once again see my glass full. I am confident that you will too. I found solace in Psalms 23 – the whole chapter – but verse 1 says, “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.” Meaning contentment in knowing He is a good shepherd and loves me.
- Susan Good says:January 12, 2025 at 9:23 am
Thank you, Cathy. I am so glad you are once again seeing your glass half full. A blessing. Countine that in 2025 and soar. Warmly, Honey
- Susan Good says:January 12, 2025 at 9:23 am
- Diana Purser says:January 6, 2025 at 1:55 pm
Hi Honey,
I am sending you hugs. 2023 was like this for me and I ended that year with profound sadness, but I was bolstered by friends who were angels to me. 2024 was much better. I was not facing the same things as you are now, but it changed my entire way of life from work, to family, to living arrangements. You have been so encouraging and I hope that I can encourage you in some way. Thank you for being real. Much love!
- Susan Good says:January 12, 2025 at 9:21 am
Thank you very much, Diane. I am taking your hugs and holding them tight. I am very happy for you that you found your answers and that life is good. I am smiling. Happy 2025!!! Warmly, Honey
- Susan Good says:January 12, 2025 at 9:21 am
- Deni says:January 6, 2025 at 3:30 pm
I, too, am the caretaker of my spouse who has Lewy Body Dementia. My underlying sadness is always present since the symptoms began. My natural way is to be enthusiastic and upbeat, but not right now. Our roles are important and carry on, we must.
- Susan Good says:January 12, 2025 at 9:29 am
Carry on we must! I know how you feel, which is natural, so we do our best for our loved one and flow the best we can with our serious situation. Warmly and in friendship. Honey
- Susan Good says:January 12, 2025 at 9:29 am
- bridget says:January 12, 2025 at 8:38 pm
Honey, I feel your pain and distress. I know how much love there is between you and your Shelly, it breaks my heart that you are going through this. I know vascular dementia from close up, as my 91-yr old mother had it for 8 long years, and it’s painful. I suffer from anxiety (decades) and I dread either of us (my hub or I) getting ill as I have no one here. Estranged family, like you and no children, we become mindful of so many things as our life’s journey unfolds and another year flies by. We ended last year with Covid, caught on a 10+ flight from London to Miami. It was awful, and I must say when you are really ill, you see how so-called friend react, it was an unpleasant discovery to say the least! I wish you all the love and strength in world. Keep us all posted on Shelly and how you are doing. Love, Bridget xo (Excuse typos, the caption doesn’t allow me to view what I have written)
- Susan Good says:January 14, 2025 at 3:19 pm
Thank you dear Bridget. I will keep you posted! I am glad you are both well. Enjoy your ride!!!! Happy New Year. Warmly, Honey
- Susan Good says:January 14, 2025 at 3:19 pm
HOW TO FIND JOY AFTER 50
10 WAYS TO LEAD A SWEET LIFE AFTER 50
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Honey, Technically speaking, a healthy hubby & family are WANTS not NEEDS! I have been single all of my life
and was estranged from my drinking family for over 23 years until my dear, misunderstanding father disowned me financially because he declared me “ungrateful & not a nice person” due, I guess, to my Bipolar Disorder & behaviors that I do own. As you know, I have survived serious cancer 3 times plus been on kidney dialysis for over 7 years now ,,, I am 75 years young & in a care community. I am also a recovering alcoholic w/ over 44 years of sobriety. I have learned alot from you due to your grace, openness, and dignity. Keep writing!! As you know, HOPE is an inside job. Sounds like you might be getting ready for your exiting Third Act!! — Sandrala
I have hope and tenacity but grief is love and I adore my ill ultimate concierge so I am stuck in grief. I really don’t think I will ever be the same and this worries me because I love life and all it offers but this situation has given me doubt about my positive strength. I see no wins. But, I will hope. I am glad you are fine. Happy belated New Year. Warmly, Honey
Honey,
Thank you for being so open and honest. This really struck a cord in me. The New Year’s beginning has been difficult for me as well, and last night I broke down in tears with the weariness of it all. Reading this has given me hope that I’m not alone. You understand.
I applaud your courage to share your journey so openly. It helps women. It helped me. You’re a hero. Thank you!
I am glad I was able to help you a bit. We all have trials. Some are just so devastating. I am in devastation mode. Grief is love. Warmly, Honey
Thank you for sharing your truth. It is sad . You do have wonderful times to look back on. But you are in the here and now. With many things to manage I’m honestly holding your hand , looking into your eyes , sitting with you and knowing, this too shall pass😔 and we go forward together ❤️.
Thank you for holding my hand. I need it. How very kind and loving of you. I am very appreciative. Warmly, Honey
I can so relate and this was lovely and comforting to read. I too have been dealing with my husband’s health for years. 2024 was constant and I was wiped out. We did get lucky so hoping it continues.
With that I have been dealing with a daughter, my step daughter that has such hatred and ager towards me. I never felt this from anyone. It’s horrible. I did everything with such love and I know she knows this but the hurt is awful. She is in her 30’s.
I am sending love and such appreciation for your words. You can feel the love you and your ultimate concierge have for one another.
Take it slow,
Leslie- I want you to try and relive yourself of this burden with your step daughter. Look in the mirror and say, “This is not about me. I have tried and been blocked. This is about her. It is my time to drop the rope and surrender to her toxicity and replace it with positivity.” I have learned that we cannot change the minds of others. So surrender.It is not weakness to surrender. It is empowering. Thank you for sending love.I am struggling like I have never struggled before because grief is love. Happy belated New Year. I am glad your husband is doing better. Warmly, Honey
Almost 3 years ago I lost by husband of 50 years to ALS. As devastating and sad as it was for us, he was content. He said, no shame in life, no fear in death, this is the power of Christ in me. He had abundant, nonwavering hope; this gave us hope.
He read scripture daily and he was happy with his lot. He smiled at us. I suggest you hire a full time care giver and find your rock. Read scripture to him daily. Also, sing to him. He will find peace and so will you. In time your joy will miraculously reappear!
Thank you for your advice, Elizabeth. I do have a full time caregiver but she cannot take care of my grief. Tried is love. Warmly, Honey
Oh goodness I am sorry for your burdens . You have given so much to the community you have created so I hope you can feel support flowing back to you . Much love and care to you at this hard time xx
I do feel support! Sending much love back to you and wishing you, a belated happy New Year. Warmly, Honey
Honey you are not alone as you well know , I am proud of you for sharing !
New years is a time at looking at changes , what your goals are , where to ,travel etc ! Stop at take it one day at a time finding one little thing that makes you happy!
I am 85 had a stroke still in therapy , hand and arm have never moved in 2 1/2 years but I haven’t give up on my right leg walking … I’m making progress!
A tragedy in our family 9 years ago left one granddaughter dead and the other granddaughter in prison …I think about it every day and relive it! Each granddaughter belonged to my two sons ….they have not spoken to each other since The son with the daughter in prison doesn’t speak to us or his sister he blames it on us! I feel for ,We have had counseling They find it hard to believe !
If you want to look up the story you can go to Cobb countyGa……two cousins 9 years ago … stabbing !Without tote help of friends…God…my daughter …My daughters helps me to keep going…self care! My husband and I have been married 65 years and he struggles everyday …could no longer take care of our home ….so we are in assisted living! My story is longer but you get the idea….my life has been s—- for the last 9 years but somehow by the grace of God I am still here and I have today … thank you for Tellinng your story I admire you !!
I admire You!!! What grief and all the other emotions you have been through. You are still standing strong and you are a role model. Thank you for sharing your story. Everyone’s life has hills and valleys. Yes, you have today. Ride your wave. Warmly, Honey
Dear Honey;
Thank you for your openness in revealing your grief.. I lost my husband in April 2023 after he had a long heart failure decline. It was so hard to watch. There was anticipatory grief before and deep deep grief since. But I am surviving and thriving. Enjoying travel with friends and daughters, trying new activities and slowly changing my perspective on life. Changing my routine is a big one.
Thank you for taking the time to write to me. I am so glad you are trying new activities and traveling. Thank you for your advice. I am trying. Warmly, Honey
I have been following your journey since the beginning. I am sending you LOVE and know your other readers will too. I could tell that your darling husband was not well. You have been a strong woman for years. I am like you in many ways and can relate. I won’t go into the ways now. I just want you to know, we are all out here and send you love and strength to get through this part of your life.
I know we have common thoughts. Thank you for sending your love. I am in the throes of deep sadness though I try, try, try to weather this storm of grief. What can I say except thank you for reaching out to me. I really am touched and grateful. Warmly, Honey
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
You just have to go through it! And you will! Self care is the first priority. And as for grandchildren estrangement, I cherish the
old times when they were young. Now,
they are 25 and 27 and it is not that I do not see them, it is the fact that they are cold and indifferent that saddens me. Woke! An epidemic that is on the rise. I focus on my own blessings and through my travels, I have learned to share a kind
word and recognize when complete strangers are alone and suffering. I have a home and all the creature comforts. We have hope with the changes that are on the way. You will stay in the moment and
make new memories. You too, have a special gift! Rest when you must, but get back in that saddle! Kathleen
I think Woke will vanish thanks to the new administration and Americans by the millions speaking out against this awful way of life. I am sorry for you about your grandchildren. I do feel they have some of your wisdom in their heads. At least, I hope so. Warmly, Honey
Honey, I am so sorry to hear this about your ultimate concierge. I do understand I hopeless feeling that you have. My husband fell at home a month ago and because of his fracture going through his spinal column, he may not be able to walk again. There is a small chance with intensive rehab that he will be able to. It’s been quite a nightmare of surgery, hospital and managing his pain. I have been his caregiver for a couple of years now as he has a lot of health problems. I’m trying to take one day at a time and take care of myself the best that I can. Sending you a virtual hug as I know how hard it is when your life isn’t the same anymore and the husband that you love so much is not the man that he was before.
Sending you a virtual hug back. There are no words…. Warmly and in friendship, Honey
I am so sorry that you and your husband will be going through this. Can’t even say “hope it gets better” because you know it won’t.
You need hope to keep you sane.
Again, I am sorry
Thank you for your caring note. I am doing everything I can to help my husband stay stable. He is not declining and this is giving me the will to carry on. I wish you a fruitful New Year in 2025. Warmly, Honey
Honey, I totally feel your words. Like you I have always been an optimist, but I am also a realist. I think situations like you are currently living require understanding the realities. Facing those when they are insurmountable wears one down daily. I am facing caring for my two elderly parents. 91 and 87. I am an only child. My husband just recently began showing memory loss issues and has a severly elevated PSA. We are working through this……. Each day, I come to the end of the day exhausted physically and emotionally. I have no time for myself. Their just aren’t enough hours in the day to meet all the needs. Bless you lovely lady. Yes, we will “hoof it ‘and move forward. Thank you for being you and
being open and transparent ……. it helps others realize we are not alone.
Please find time for yourself. Light a candle, take a warm bath, get a mani and pedi, lunch with a friend, take your dog for a peaceful walk, if you have one, exercise. Do something. Self-care will help you weather your grief. Thank you for your kind words. Warmly and in friendship, Honey
My heart goes out to you, Honey! You are doing what you need to do at this time in your life. You are authentic, true to yourself and your needs/ feelings. You are in a difficult time. Take the time and walk this journey. You have many friends, supporters and friends who are family. Lean on them when needed and remember, we are not meant to be islands.
All the best to you and your ultimate concierge.
Thank you for your kind words and advice, Sandy.You are right…no man is an Island. No man can stand alone. Warmly, Honey
Honey, my heart feels your sadness and I have had similar feelings in past years. Thankfully, they are in my past and I lived on to once again see my glass full. I am confident that you will too.
I found solace in Psalms 23 – the whole chapter – but verse 1 says, “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.” Meaning contentment in knowing He is a good shepherd and loves me.
Thank you, Cathy. I am so glad you are once again seeing your glass half full. A blessing. Countine that in 2025 and soar. Warmly, Honey
Hi Honey,
I am sending you hugs. 2023 was like this for me and I ended that year with profound sadness, but I was bolstered by friends who were angels to me. 2024 was much better. I was not facing the same things as you are now, but it changed my entire way of life from work, to family, to living arrangements. You have been so encouraging and I hope that I can encourage you in some way. Thank you for being real. Much love!
Thank you very much, Diane. I am taking your hugs and holding them tight. I am very happy for you that you found your answers and that life is good. I am smiling. Happy 2025!!! Warmly, Honey
I, too, am the caretaker of my spouse who has Lewy Body Dementia. My underlying sadness is always present since the symptoms began.
My natural way is to be enthusiastic and upbeat, but not right now.
Our roles are important and carry on, we must.
Carry on we must! I know how you feel, which is natural, so we do our best for our loved one and flow the best we can with our serious situation. Warmly and in friendship. Honey
Honey, I feel your pain and distress. I know how much love there is between you and your Shelly, it breaks my heart that you are going through this. I know vascular dementia from close up, as my 91-yr old mother had it for 8 long years, and it’s painful. I suffer from anxiety (decades) and I dread either of us (my hub or I) getting ill as I have no one here. Estranged family, like you and no children, we become mindful of so many things as our life’s journey unfolds and another year flies by. We ended last year with Covid, caught on a 10+ flight from London to Miami. It was awful, and I must say when you are really ill, you see how so-called friend react, it was an unpleasant discovery to say the least! I wish you all the love and strength in world. Keep us all posted on Shelly and how you are doing.
Love, Bridget xo
(Excuse typos, the caption doesn’t allow me to view what I have written)
Thank you dear Bridget. I will keep you posted! I am glad you are both well. Enjoy your ride!!!! Happy New Year. Warmly, Honey