I am Buzz Buzz Buzzing with advice today. Like a Queen Bee, I have had my share of life experiences and learned many lessons along the road of life. As you know, I enjoy sharing my knowledge. Today I will share my insight on how I handle toxic women. Truth be told, my editor chose this topic for me. I’m glad because I am sure most of you have had an experience with a toxic woman. And don’t discount that you may have shown a toxic side of yourself. 

You and I are human and we err. We fall out with other women; we say things, for one reason or another, that we later regret. Moving on, we apologize and try to mend the situation. You may enjoy reading my story, Surprising Thing the Sun Taught Me About Friendship.

March is the month for growth. The days are longer and with sunlight comes hope, joy, and renewal. The women we invite into our lives should bring the same joy and hope. Is there a woman who stresses you to the nines? Take your time to evaluate the relationship before you become judgemental. Before you decide this woman is toxic. 

Maybe just maybe, it makes better sense to invest yourself and your time to repair the hurts. Remember you have options. Use them wisely. 

Ask me questions. If I can give you sound advice, it will always be my pleasure.

WHAT IS A TOXIC WOMAN?

To understand how to handle toxic women, you must first understand what that means. A toxic woman is anyone whose behavior constantly upsets your life. This woman emotionally exhausts you through intimidation. She uses guilt and bullying tactics to get her way. She is a very defensive woman. Often, she is an envious person and is dealing with her own issues. Unfortunately, she chose to entangle you in her web.

SIGNS TO BEWARE OF

There are different types of toxic women, and each should be handled in different ways. First, there is the leader of a pack and with her pack of several behind her. She becomes empowered. Next, there is the silent and cunning toxic woman who rules others without a word but with her actions. There is the woman who knows she can prey on her weaker sisters. And lastly, a woman may become toxic to another woman because she does not like her. 

• Some toxic women hide it well. They masquerade. This type of woman preys on the weaker woman. Some women feel the need to be led, to be told what to do. The toxic woman has no need to outwardly prey on her because that woman is submissive. The toxic woman does not see her as a threat but as a player in her pack. Do you know this type of toxic woman? I do.
• The toxic woman who acts alone…beware. She is dangerous because she is cunning. She knows what she is doing but others don’t. This woman is a fooler. She stings quietly, but her sting is deadly. Do you know this type of cunning toxic woman? I do.
• The toxic woman who’s a bully. She is not ashamed to be noticeable. She rules the roost. This woman feels entitled because she has a pack of many women behind her. Perhaps she has monetary wealth above and beyond her peers, or something else that gives her authority. Do you know this type? I do
• There is the toxic woman who wants you to disappear. She does not like you. You are a threat. She feels weakened in your presence.

HOW TO DISARM A TOXIC WOMAN

 

First, try  this approach: 

• Take the high road. Don’t engage.
• Continue to be the nice person you are.
• Don’t counterattack. If you do they usually don’t give up,

Though it’s true that women need women, that does not mean you need just any woman. And although I wish all women were supportive of one another, I know some women are brutal to one another. Toxic women are especially vindictive and strong. If you cannot disarm them from attacking with kindness, you should delete that person from your life. Period.

THE POSITIVE LESSONS I LEARNED

I have found that toxic women have helped me develop a thicker skin. If you have not, it is time you learn this lesson.

I have learned how to choose my friends and acquaintances. My friends mirror me. I surround myself with women who have my back. Are your choices sound?

I cut my losses and steer clear of mean, toxic women. Do you walk? Or do you cower?

By no means am I perfect. I still have to learn not to give toxic women any negative ammunition to use against me. By this I mean: Even though I want to shout from the rooftop, I should not allow myself to sink to their level. In most cases, I rise above the negative chatter. 

However, there was a time I wore my heart on my sleeve. I told the truth to others. Relaying that, I would stop allowing a particular toxic woman back into my life. Later I learned that I should have kept my own counsel. I should have thought twice before I spoke once. 

I didn’t care because the woman had been making me unhappy for more than a few years. By keeping my silence and taking the high road, I gave her her chances. Nothing worked. It was my happiness over hers. She left me no choice but to delete her. Would I reconsider? If she was woman enough to apologize. 

Read my post on how I am able to see life through rose-colored glasses.

THE TOXIC PERSONALITY 

I have read that toxic women lash out because of their own insecurities and jealousies. They see another woman as their threat. These women are pros at targeting the weak and the very strong. They are saboteurs. Another woman’s accomplishments and style create envy. I am sad for toxic women.  What joy is there in putting down a sister? They should feel shame. But these women don’t!

My close friend called me the other day. During the course of our conversation, she told me a toxic woman we both know will not let her into a bridge game. My friend is an excellent bridge player and does not have a mean bone in her body. The toxic woman had no qualms about being unkind to my friend because she knows my friend would submit without a word. She feared her not. She is a mean girl. 

I asked my friend how she felt when the toxic woman again rejected her.

She said, “ I thought she would reject me because my presence in her game does not make her feel more powerful. I am too nice to her. I learned.” I smiled through the phone. 

USE YOUR WILL WISELY

A toxic woman’s role in life is to lord her powers in a negative manner over others. She knows no other way. 

If you have this tendency, it is never too late to seek help. We all have kindness genes. Even the toxic woman. Life is too short and difficult with all the situations we face to be mean-spirited to other women. Remember…women need women.

If you are being attacked by a toxic woman, you must delve into your inner self and ask yourself why.

Please stop. It is better to be alone to enjoy yourself. You have your will. I call it empowerment. I also call it enlightenment. Whether you are in your twenties or nineties, you have the ability to roar into a luxurious life. Use your will wisely. Never lord it over others. Only yourself. 

Ask me questions. If I can give you sound advice, it will always be my pleasure. I am smiling!

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