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What It Means to Be a Lady Today

honey good wearing belt bag and jewelry how to be a lady

A modern lady can wear pearls and smash glass ceilings.

Essence is the first word that comes to mind when I think of what it means to be a lady.

Essence is an indispensable quality of “something” very attractive. The word lady reminds me of the Statue of Liberty. She is graciously welcoming. In her left hand she carries a book of laws representing rules to lives by, and in her right hand she carries a torch that illuminates for all to see. She has absolute awareness of who she is and sets an example for other women to follow.

A modern lady is a blend of past and present. She can wear pearls and smash glass ceilings. She can be fierce in her kitchen and the CEO in her boardroom. While always polite, she no longer apologizes for her opinions. She is a hostess in the evening and a professor of economics during the day. In other words, darlings, a woman’s place in society has progressed, but the characteristics of a lady are the same today as they have been from the beginning of time.

Who Taught Me to Be a Lady

A lady can call herself fierce for smashing the glass ceiling, but without inner substance she cannot call herself a lady. To be a lady she must have a fine set of principles that set her apart from other women.

As women over 50, we know a lady when we meet her. As I mentioned above there is “something” very attractive about her.

Becoming a lady today means so much more than just having a fierce attitude or breaking through ceilings—glass or otherwise. It’s about possessing something deeper, a kind of inner sparkle that truly sets you apart. And guess what? It’s not something you’re born with; it’s lovingly crafted with a bit of help from some very special women in our lives.

For those of us blessed with more than five decades of life’s rich experiences, spotting a genuine lady in a crowd is almost like second nature. There’s an irresistible charm about her, a certain je ne sais quoi that whispers elegance and strength. But where does it come from?

My Mother, My Role Model

Before the world had its chance to shape me, there was my mother. My first (and forever) role model, she showed me how to be a lady. From the power of a kind word to the importance of standing tall. Darling, I dare say your mother taught you to be a lady, too.

Lessons From Girlfriends

As adults, we have our girlfriends to model ladylike traits. These friendships taught me about solidarity and lifting each other up. With my girlfriends I’ve learned that being a lady means extending a hand, sharing wisdom, and listening well.

A Grandmother’s Wisdom

Grandmothers are like the secret ingredient in the recipe of who we become, adding a splash of zest to our character and depth to our souls. They connect us to our past, grounding us in values that have weathered many a storm. Grandmothers remind us that grace, courage, and honesty never go out of style. If you are a grandmother, consider connecting your grandchildren to your past and to your family’s values. Order my keepsake journal to document your story and preserve your legacy.

Honey's Book, Stories for My Grandchild

If you wish gift the legacy of your truth and your stories to your kids and grands, buy my book.

You Cannot Buy Class to be a Lady

A lady is never defined by what she has. She is defined by who she is. First and foremost, if she is not kind, she is not a lady. Some women pretend they are nice, but a real lady knows when they are not. They have deep-seated agendas. Fortunately, there are wonderful women out there who have ladylike characteristics.

The lady of today has no rules save a few that in my opinion date back to the beginning of time. If she is lacking in this list of ladylike qualities… she was not, is not and will never be a lady.

15 Qualities Every Modern Lady Must Have

If you were to describe a true lady. She would embody this list.

  1. Passionate in her beliefs of what is right and wrong
  2. Courteous, not curt
  3. Warm, never aloof
  4. Empathetic to others
  5. A woman of her word
  6. She knows who she is
  7. Impeccable manners in every situation
  8. Soft, not tough
  9. She showers love, not scorn
  10. A good listener
  11. Respectful
  12. Thoughtful in words and actions
  13. She treats everyone equally
  14. Genuine, she does not wear a false mask
  15. Steadfast in her values
Honey Good sipping coffee contemplating how to be a lady

A lady is defined by who she is, not what she has.

Friendships Should Be Blend-ships

A woman over 50 should take pride in her circle of other women. It is never too late to ‘Delete’ friendships if the women you spend time with don’t measure up to your expectations. There are a few shifts I am contemplating. I don’t enjoy women who are “planners and plotters.” This type of woman is not a lady. I see through them and don’t like the feeling I have when I am around them. I enjoy the real McCoy, darlings. These are secure women. These are ladies. You should have women in your life whose common denominators are values and kindness.

A Grandmother’s Gift

We are all products of our upbringing. As grandmothers we have an opportunity to “leave our granddaughters’ information in their heads.” We can educate them in the importance of being a woman of quality…a lady. A lady has the finest of principles that set her apart from other women. She will be confident, courteous, honorable, kind-hearted and loving. Her ladylike manner, her inner beauty, will radiate to all she meets. She will be a woman of substance, wearing pearls of wisdom passed down from her mother and grandmother—as she smashes through that glass ceiling.

A woman is not a lady because she comes from a superior social position or earns a large income. A lady today demonstrates who she is. Her posture is regal, her values are clear, and she know exactly who she is. She is the Statue of Liberty, welcoming all ladies, of every background, into her life. She wears pearls of wisdom.

Answer this question in the comments: What qualities must a woman posses to be called a lady?

 

If you are not a member of one of my Facebook groups, I would love for you to join me. Come find your supportive community of like-minded women! Join these private Facebook groups:

🌻 Women over 50: Celebrate Visibility

🌼Sisters in Widowhood: Life Transition

🌷 Estranged Mothers and Grandmothers: Millions Strong

 

 

March 20, 2024

Passages After 50

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  1. Mirabel says:

    Beautiful read!

  2. Catherine Johnston says:

    The above says it all! What a wonderful list of qualities and attributes for one to aspire. I think I’m going to print and post this on my office wall. Thank you!

  3. Linn says:

    This is beautiful, and I have nothing to add ! I am going to print this for myself, anyone else interested. Thank you!

  4. Sara Bazer says:

    As always you are so perfect in your words. I never thought of the Statue of Liberty as the example of a lady, but then again she is called Lady Liberty as well. Thank you for always showing me something new.

  5. Darlene Macy says:

    Well, I guess I am one of those you would not enjoy being around because I was taught from an early age to always plan, be prepared, blah, blah, blah. Plus, I make my living as a bookkeeper (planning is required). However, I do possess kindness, patience, and am down to earth as they come. I always say that I am the best of both worlds because I have a very creative side as well and enjoy art, which I plan to embrace more now as I have aged. Would I enjoy “high tea”, probably not.

    • Susan Good says:

      I would enjoy being around you! You are organized and have an edgy side- you are not boring!!!! I am smiling. Have a great day. Warmly, Honey

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