I’m Always Learning

As a woman over 50, I enrolled myself in a negotiation course. In life, we don’t always get what we desire and that’s inevitable. However, we have a far better chance of getting what we want, whether it’s receiving a raise or following our dreams if we have strong negotiation skills. At this stage of life, many women don’t feel like negotiation skills are necessary. I beg to differ! I decided to take a negotiation course because I often feel uncomfortable when I am thrown into negotiation scenarios. Even though I am a strong woman who knows what she wants, getting the point across to others takes skill. These courses often cover topics like social psychology, which help you understand human behavior and interactions during negotiations.

Developing new skills is important at all life stages, here are some of my favorite hobbies to try after 50. After deciding that the art of negotiation was a skill I wanted for myself, I signed up for a two-day comprehensive negotiation course under the leadership of Dr. Chester Karrass. He has built a thriving business on his negotiating system.

I am also fortunate to live with a top-notch negotiator, my ultimate concierge and husband Sheldon Good. He built a thriving real estate auction business on his superb negotiating skills. Shelly even goes one step further than Dr. Karrass’s teachings.

His feeling is everything is negotiable. And, darling, that suits me just fine.

Negotiation

Negotiation is a vital skill that touches every aspect of our lives, from personal relationships to professional achievements. Whether you’re aiming to close a business deal, resolve a family disagreement, or simply advocate for your needs, strong negotiation skills are essential for reaching successful outcomes. Mastering negotiation strategies allows individuals to navigate complex negotiations with greater confidence and clarity, leading to better outcomes for everyone involved. Programs like the negotiation and influence program at Berkeley Executive Education are designed to help participants develop and refine these crucial skills. By learning the fundamentals of negotiation, you can approach any situation—big or small—with the tools and mindset needed to achieve your goals. Investing in your negotiation skills is not just for the boardroom; it’s a valuable asset in everyday life, empowering you to handle negotiations with poise and effectiveness.

Negotiation Is Part of Everyday Life

I did not negotiate with my ultimate concierge when he told me everything is negotiable because I believe he is correct. Everyone negotiates every day. What time do you want to meet for breakfast? Who takes out the dog in the night? What outfit should I wear today? Darling, this is a silent negotiation I have with myself every morning!

I wanted to take a negotiation class because daily negotiations transpire between parents and children, husbands and wives, friends, and coworkers every single day. Whether we eat chicken, steak or fish for dinner, where we dine, and what movie we see all require negotiating. If you have relationships, you are negotiating more often than you realize!

There are different types of negotiating and different levels of importance, but nevertheless, these tête-à-têtes can occasionally escalate into real arguments. Developing negotiation skills helps resolve differences effectively before they become major conflicts. I took a negotiation class to make sure I’m equipped with the best skills to create win-win outcomes, no matter the intensity of the situation.

Key Concepts in Negotiation

Understanding the key concepts in negotiation is the foundation for becoming a strategic negotiator. Negotiation dynamics play a significant role in how discussions unfold at the bargaining table, and being prepared for uncertainty is essential. Crafting an agile strategy allows you to adapt to changing circumstances and respond thoughtfully as negotiations progress. Addressing small differences early in the negotiation process can prevent them from escalating into costly conflicts, helping to secure maximum value for all parties involved. Reflecting on your personal behaviors and recognizing different bargaining styles can also enhance your ability to negotiate effectively. By developing negotiation mastery, you’ll be better equipped to deal with a variety of tactics and personalities, ensuring that agreements are both fair and beneficial. Courses focused on negotiation skills and strategies, such as Negotiation Mastery, provide practical insights into handling different bargaining styles and maximizing value in every agreement.

Keen Negotiation Skills Yield Stronger Communication

While it’s easy to negotiate most of the small stuff, the big things can kill us. Well, not literally, but definitely metaphorically. Difficult family problems, relationship glitches, service issues that involve products gone wrong, employers and employees, and the ability to close deals all depend on developing negotiation skills to reach agreements and maximize value.

Truth be told, I find myself blurting out yes when I want to say no and I bet you have too. I get so annoyed with myself because, after the fact, I realize what I should have said. After the fact, I realize I should have told whoever I was speaking with that I will think it over and get back to them.

For all of the above reasons, I signed up for a negotiation class.

The Negotiation Class Recommended by a Friend

I discovered the course a few weeks ago while chatting with a friend on an entirely different topic when he brought up the word negotiation. He mentioned his wife took a remarkable course titled Effective Negotiating.

His words were music to my ears, and I bombarded him with questions. Is the company in Chicago? How long is the course? Is it expensive?

This is what I learned, dear readers.

1. The company is Karrass, a world leader in teaching the art of negotiation. Dr. Chester Karrass, who founded it over 50 years ago, has an engineering degree from the University of Colorado, an MBA from Columbia University and a doctorate from the University of Southern California. He was a negotiator for the Hughes Organization before founding his namesake firm.
2. Karrass is located in 95 cities globally, including (lucky for me) Chicago.
3. Effective Negotiating is the most widely used negotiation class in the world!
4. The class is usually around $1400, but it varies depending on location.

Additionally, for those who prefer remote or flexible learning options, Karrass offers virtual sessions of the negotiation class, allowing participants to join live, interactive experiences online or review recorded sessions at their convenience.

Always Ready to Challenge Myself

While sitting quietly with my pooch, America, I thought about how my life would change if I learned how to be a learned negotiator. I decided I would challenge myself and take the negotiation class because I wanted to feel confident in dealing with my family and other relationships. I am estranged from my adult children and knew that learning negotiation skills would be beneficial to reconciliation. If you are estranged from your adult children, you should join my private Facebook group, “Estranged Mothers and Grandmothers: Millions Strong.”)

Here are a few reasons I felt a class in negotiation would benefit me:

1. Rather than feel guilt-ridden, I want to feel comfortable with my decisions.
2. I want to be thoughtful and strong in the decision-making process by understanding all parameters and consequences that go into processing a decision before I negotiate with friends, acquaintances and in my business,
3. It is important to me to be able to negotiate fairly yet firmly with my children when they confront me. Family emotions range from love to rage and everything in between. Becoming a skilled negotiator may help me prevent a future family skirmish from getting out of control.
4. I want to be a more astute negotiator in business transactions.
5. Developing negotiation skills now will help me prepare for future negotiations, whether with family, in business, or in other important situations.

On a lighter note, I have no problems negotiating with Shelly, a skilled negotiator, because he always puts my interests above all else. I am blessed. He does not have to negotiate with me because I put his interest above all else too. He is blessed.

I Took the Negotiation Course

In truth, I negotiated myself into taking the course! Good for me that I made the decision. I assume my personal feelings are similar to yours. After all, we are mothers, wives, grandmothers, businesswomen, and girlfriends. We wear the same hats and field the same problems with confrontations that require daily negotiation skills.

Becoming skilled in the art of negotiation adds to our strengths. I’m a firm believer that a woman’s essence, her ability to negotiate fairly and squarely, is an attribute.

Taking the course at Karrass was very challenging. I was the oldest in the room. There were three other women and approximately forty men, all in their 30’s. The course was business-oriented but nevertheless, I did learn tactics and strategies. As part of the practical exercises, we participated in role plays that simulated real-life negotiation scenarios, which helped reinforce the skills we were learning. Many negotiation courses also include a capstone assignment as a culminating project, allowing participants to apply their skills to real-world challenges.

Things I Learned at the Negotiation Class

Important things I learned about the art of negotiation are applicable in business, relationships, and more.

1. A good negotiation should aim for a win-win solution. One person’s win shouldn’t result in another’s loss.
2. Preparation is important when negotiating. You should understand the other persons needs, and you should know your own limits (including when it is best to walk away).
3. Using tactics like deadlines, patience, and silence can help you “win” a negotiation.
4. Conflict management is essential in negotiations, as it helps prevent escalation and enables effective resolution of disputes.

Most importantly, I came away with this: all of life is give and take.

In negotiation, it is important to be fair yet reasonable, firm yet knowledgeable, and last but not least, to remember my ultimate concierge’s words, “Everything is negotiable.” Maintaining ethical standards during negotiations is also crucial, as it builds trust, supports successful agreements, and upholds professionalism.

You can visit Karrass.com for information on their Effective Negotiating course. If you prefer a self-study, I recommend reading Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In.

Expert Guidance

Learning from negotiation experts can make a significant difference in your ability to negotiate effectively. Organizations like the Black Swan Group offer customized coaching and negotiation training courses that teach advanced techniques, such as Tactical Empathy, to help you excel in both professional and personal negotiations. Their decades of experience in high-stakes negotiations provide invaluable insights into what it takes to achieve negotiation success. Similarly, Harvard Business School offers negotiation courses like Negotiation Mastery, designed to help business professionals hone their negotiation skills and navigate complex negotiations with confidence. By participating in these negotiation training courses, you gain access to practical skills, real-world strategies, and expert feedback that can transform your approach at the bargaining table. Whether you’re looking to improve your negotiation skills for business or everyday life, expert guidance ensures you’re equipped with the knowledge and tools needed for successful negotiations.

Effective Negotiation

Effective negotiation is about more than just reaching an agreement—it’s about creating value and building lasting relationships. This requires a blend of analytical tools, interpersonal techniques, and practical skills that can be developed through negotiation training. Understanding the negotiation process, managing conflict, and applying negotiation strategies are all essential for achieving positive outcomes. Programs like the Negotiation and Influence Program at Berkeley Executive Education offer practical in-class exercises, interactive negotiation simulations, and expert coaching to help participants build competence and confidence. These negotiation training courses focus on real-world scenarios, allowing you to practice and refine your skills in a supportive environment. By gaining a deeper understanding of negotiation dynamics and strategies, you’ll be better prepared to handle complex negotiations and secure effective agreements in business and beyond. Investing in your negotiation skills through hands-on learning and expert feedback is key to becoming a successful negotiator.

Conclusion

In conclusion, negotiation is a vital skill that can be developed and refined through ongoing practice, negotiation training, and expert guidance. By understanding key concepts such as negotiation dynamics, bargaining styles, and effective negotiation techniques, you can approach negotiations with greater confidence and achieve better outcomes. Resources like the negotiation and influence program, negotiation mastery courses, and customized coaching offer valuable opportunities to enhance your negotiation skills and strategies. As you continue to navigate complex negotiations in both your personal and professional life, remember that negotiation success comes from continuous learning and adapting to new challenges. Stay curious, seek out the latest negotiation techniques, and embrace every opportunity to grow as a negotiator—because with the right skills and mindset, you can secure maximum value and create positive outcomes in every negotiation.