“The high road is doing the right thing even if it is not easy.”
My father’s philosophy was to take the high road; to always maintain a strong moral compass and strong values. His actions supported his teaching. He wanted his children to be able to look themselves in the mirror and be proud of their actions, especially when put to the test. I often question: are there occasions when the high road is the wrong road? Darlings, now that I am a woman many years over 50…the answer is a qualified NO.
I questioned this many times in the past because I have had incidents, like you, where I found it difficult to take the high road. My emotions went into a tailspin and I felt myself spiraling to the low road. Sometimes, though very seldom, I have drifted to the low road and darlings, it has made me feel worse. My stress doubles. My tension is now on two fronts. I am upset with the other person and I am just as upset with myself.
The struggle of the high road
Taking the high road is often a struggle. Sometimes I lose it when it comes to people’s repeated actions of inconsideration, sarcasm and mean spiritedness. However, when I travel to the low road I suffer for my behavior. In most instances, my next action is to man up to my conduct and apologize because I don’t want to carry negative baggage and…I am truly sorry.
This is important, darlings. I am still living through an experience of taking the high road by remaining silent. I should have made a statement. Remember, there is a fine line between taking the high road and being stepped on.
We have two choices. We can walk away and say nothing or we can step up to the plate and vocalize our discontent with thought-provoking language. Both ways are taking the high road.
I wrote a poem on the fierceness of women over 50. I am adding another fierce quality: “I am fierce because I take the high road.”
WHY YOU SHOULD TAKE THE HIGH ROAD
- The most important reason… for yourself.
- You deserve a peaceful lifestyle after 50.
- Bad behavior on the part of others should not impact your behavior.
- Positive energy will make you feel good.
- When you take the high road you take away their power.
- Let revenge be their burden to carry, not yours.
- The person who takes the low road regrets their action.
As difficult as it is, my aspiration is to walk away with grace, with my head held high in a noble manner and be remembered as a woman who took the high road. In 98% of cases I am that woman. I have a new goal: 100%, darlings.
Very well written
Very needed
Very appreciated
Thank you so much. Warmly, Honey
Thank you, MU. Thank you for commenting. Warmly, Honey
Loved your poem… there are times I’ve wished I’d taken the high road…
Me, too. No one is perfect. Now, we try harder. 🙂 Warmly, Honey
Love that. It is truth. ????❤️????
Hard to do at times but always the best way. Warmly, Honey
Honey, is it “taking the low road” when someone has hurt you so deeply that you simply remove them from your life? I am talking about someone who was previously very close, (related by marriage).
Taking the low road is hitting below the belt. It is reacting unkindly. Taking the high road, is living up to your values when someone is unkind, mean-spirited or hurtful with their words and actions. Hope this helps. Warmly, Honey
Thank you Honey; I don’t think I have done or said anything unkind, I simply chose to not engage with this person anymore. Right now I feel like this is the best course for me and my peace of mind. I do realize that if I can some day get past this, it would be beneficial for our family.
One day you may forgive and forget. Sometimes silence is as hurtful as words and sometimes silence is golden. Only you know. Warmly, Honey
As always. Honey, thank you for your words of wisdom. Yesterday I failed to take the high road on an incident thT happened. I was immediately sorry for that mistake because I knew my actions brought me right down to this strangers level, which was not very high. I will do better today and tomorrow and on future days because of your words. Thank you.
I am smiling. You are so very very welcome. Warmly, Honey
my dear husband passed away 1 year ago. we almost made it to 50 years. I will always appreciate his insight and patience. He always said ” do the right thing and be kind to each other “… he always took the high road and I appreciate your words and your reminder. Thank you.
I am so sorry for your loss. There are no words. You and I are very lucky that you had your husband and I had my father as ‘role models.’ We both also wish we had them in our lives. They left us with their mark and for that we are grateful. Warmly, Honey
Recently some friends of my husband and I, of 20 plus years misunderstood our actions of us TAKING an UPPER road (that had nothing to do with them), unfairly questioned our values, and removed themselves from our lives – decided to do this and made up their minds before giveng us a chance to elaboration beyond a couple of words when they broke off the friendship. It was too late then to repair, they made that plain. This effected others in our group too. I admit at first I didn’t respond super well to this and talked behind their backs about all the times they offended and we turned the the other cheek, didn’t they owe us the same love? (I took the the low road there) I I did apologize later to those that I said those things to about the offending couple (high road -note: even when we take the low road, there is another high road take to take and hopefully it can help repair). Regarding the offending couple, we could do nothing to restore the relationship, even though I wanted to send a VERY long letter (the low road) and further explain what they were offended about in the first place, but that too didn’t feel “right”, We simply sent a sweet card thanking them for how they enriched our lives in the past. PERIOD. We were powerless to change their minds, we knew that, BUT we could do something about our current mutual friends, so I quit griping about the offending couple, and we instead explained in detail why we did what we did that inadvertently offended our former friends. The rest of our friends completely understood (even though they may have done things differently) and they rallied around us. We feel the upper road we took to start with was validated, and the later upper road (of giving our other friends the details WITHOUT bashing our former friends) served to remind us of what GREAT friends we STILL have in our lives. This circumstance bonded us all closer still.. It doesn’t always end that way, but even if our other friends abandoned us too – we could sleep at night taking the upper road. I didn’t put it terms of “upper” and “lower” roads as it was happening, but your post helped me see it in that perspective. We just kept asking God to guide us and sometimes the upper road does get lonely…but thankfully God is always there. Always learning even at 59. Thank you!
Sending a nice note and not going into what happened was taking the high road and very wise because if you had written a long scenario of who did this and why is this, etc..words would have gotten lost in the translation. My advise if you have any future confrontation is to sit down at the table and talk eye to eye. Your other friends stood by you and that is great. I would never revisit the problem. If it comes up in conversation just say, “I am sorry this happened.” Period. Warmly, Honey
Honey, as usual, you are on the mark. I admire you for this, and am grateful to have a kindred spirit in the world. Your quality of heart is inspirational. Thanks for all you do.
Taking the time to catch up on your wonderful, thought-provoking reflections. I credit a dear friend who is a grandmother and knitting comrade also for bringing you to my attention. I have an email folder for your emails!!!! I absolutely love your piece on taking the high road! Constant reminders are needed, and yours certainly add to the wisdom of doing so. Thank you! From one over 50 Susan to another :>)
It is hard, I know but, well worth our discipline. Thank you for keeping my musings. I am touched. Warmly, Honey