Ask Honey will be back next week. Please remember to submit your questions to me, as I want to hear from you! Contact me at askhoney@www.honeygood.com. I hope you enjoy the wisdom of this story.
Applying Wisdom Over Knowledge
Mothers, grandmothers, aunties, and friends have to be heard. We are the gatherers of information and especially in our present circumstances. This is a time to be in constant touch with our adult children, our grandchildren, nieces and nephews, and friends. With our friends, it is easy to chit-chat and gab passing information to one another. With our adult children and grandchildren, it can be difficult because they are often resistant to advice.
We want to get our point(s) across about their responsibility to stay self-isolated, to shop properly and to protect the inside of their homes and themselves from the virus.
As we all sit inside our homes day after day self-isolating because of the COVID-19 I still get out of bed very early every morning with a feeling of hope and positivity. I am trying to use my wisdom over my knowledge to help my large family make the proper decisions. As most of you know, they are scattered across America.
Wisdom & Knowledge
I know you are doing the same and hopefully not meeting resistance from adult children who tell you, “I know, I know,” and grandchildren telling you that you worry too much.
I did not want to hear these types of remarks from my family during this pandemic.
This is a good time to become aware of the importance of your thoughts… because we live out what we think. A thoughtful person knows the difference between knowledge and wisdom. Knowledge is fact. Wisdom is understanding how to apply the fact. I know many knowledgable people who have no idea how to turn their knowledge into wisdom. Wisdom is what is needed today more than ever and especially with our families.
A Family Story
A few evenings ago I was on the phone with one of my children who was in a state of dismay and despair over the Chinese government’s concealment of COVID-19. I knew her family, her husband, and four children were feeling her vibes because they are very close and I know the dynamics and the players very well.
It is a happy household that I can compare to a modern-day Brady Bunch. Everyone is welcome into my daughter and son-in-law’s home. The children would rather bring their friends to their home, and on birthdays spend their time with their parents and siblings. The family also has three delicious dogs, two Goldens and a giant Schnauzer all with Hawaiian names because my children were raised in the Islands. My children and my son-in-law grew up in this same atmosphere.
Special Guests
In their backyard, the family has a charming secluded casita that is for family visitors. It is fabulous. Two bedrooms, a bath, a great room with a kitchen, a laundry closet and a computer area. My daughter rents it out to special guests when it suits her.
At the moment there are two champion women wrestlers trapped inside from Uzbekistan who flew into Arizona for a championship wrestling tournament!
“OMG!” I said when we last spoke. I couldn’t believe these women were trapped in my daughter’s casita! But I can easily say if they had to get stuck somewhere they got stuck in a good place because my daughter and family are so caring. They are FaceTiming, texting and phoning from the main house to the casita.
I would like you to ask yourself how you would respond to your upset adult daughter or son who cares for four children, one husband, three dogs, and two women champion wrestlers from Uzbekistan trapped in their casita!
I put on my thinking cap and the story is…
My Solution
When I hung up with my daughter I knew she had to get out of her funk for her sake and for her family’s and visitor’s sake. But how could I help? About an hour after we said our goodbyes I had an epiphany. I got out my iPhone and texted the following message to my daughter.
“Please calm down. The only control you have over this worldwide pandemic is the power to take care of yourself, your family and your guests from Uzbekistan. It is important to relieve the fears of your children and your guests who must be experiencing a meltdown as they live stuck in your casita in America.
I know you like to comfort everyone. Depending on how you feel you might begin your discussion with a bit about the reality of what is taking place; And then move on to positivity with conviction. So turn on your FaceTime and in your words let everyone know the reality of the situation and then say,
‘We should all be grateful we are together, that we have a roof over our head, food on our tables and are in good health. We will all survive by listening and doing what we are instructed to do, to think positively, to help each other and never forget to count our blessings.’
When you do this I think everyone will feel better, including you. Trust me. I am not coming to you from knowledge… I am coming to you from wisdom.”
Sending love,
Mom
The Wisdom Response
I heard back from her the next day. I listened to the sound of her voice. It was relaxed and calm. I knew I reached her with motherly wisdom,
What we all must remember is that our adult children will always see themselves as our children, not our adult children. They need us now more than ever.
My choice might not be your choice. The wisdom, not the knowledge to know the type of adult child or grandchild will determine any message you send their way. Remember to use the words hope, positivity, and gratitude. Amen.
Great article, Honey. I have several friends who feel that they can’t share their wisdom with their adult children (and their grandchildren) for fear of interfering. But I think that it comes down to your intention and presentation. If you are intending to help them and not looking to manipulate them, you are coming from the right place. If you present your wisdom in a calm and positive manner, it will be better received, and hopefully appreciated.