*Affiliate disclosure.

Even with a wealth of books, tapes and classes on anger management, keeping your temper in check and knowing how to handle anger is still very challenging.

A Class on How to Handle Anger

As I disembarked with my husband, Sheldon Good, my pooch, America, along with 200+ other passengers from our original American Airlines flight due to mechanical issues, I thought about anger.

“I learned ways to be emotionally in control. I learned the hard way that if I let my anger overshadow my thinking I would lose my position in whatever I am doing.” — Sheldon F. Good

The pilot’s voice came on over the loud speaker in the most jovial manner and said, “I have some good news and some bad news.”

I was so impressed by his upbeat attitude and clever words (I believe in the power of positive words). In an almost playful sounding voice I think he gave 200+ passengers a class in anger management.

“The good news is we will arrive in Palm Springs today,” he continued. “The bad news is we have to change airplanes.”

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It Is All About Perspective

In all likelihood, the other passengers did not see this as a course in anger management, but as a writer, I did. It is hard to explain, but writers are observers. They are psychologically attuned to body language, inflections in a person’s voice and they sense the real from the fantasy.

I knew the pilot was feeling frustrated, aggravated and even angry. However, I believe he counted to ten, switched from angry to grateful and reminded us all that soon enough we would be walking down the sunny streets of Palm Springs.

I wondered: Did he take a course in anger management?

We all disembarked quietly and walked a mile from gate K20 to gate H16. We sat patiently, talked quietly with newfound friends and boarded another flight about an hour later.

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6 Positive Ways to Handle Anger

As I sat on the plane writing my musings, with my husband reading his Lee Child’s book, my pooch, America out cold at my feet, I thought about anger management. After a while, I came to the conclusion that anger management is the ability to have healthy emotional habits. It is that simple and that hard.

Here are my best tips on how to handle anger:

1. If it is an old anger that has not been resolved and has affected your lifestyle, you should practice mindfulness; living in the moment of each day. The past is the past and your pent up anger will harm you both physically and emotionally.

2. Take a time out like the pilot.

3. Think before you utter angry and regrettable words. This is very difficult, especially for women.

4. Think about solutions for anger. If there is a person in your life who brings out the worst in you, delete him or her. If you have guests staying in your home who are not tidy, close their door. And if you love someone, a spouse, child, or girlfriend who cannot see reason, suggest counseling.

5. Go outdoors for a  walk or on your treadmill or play music. Exercise and music reduce stress and take away feelings of anger. For example, I do this when I am frustrated with my computer or have to go from room to room looking for something important, like my phone and my car keys. Ideally you should get out in nature, but that is not always an option so at the very least, move your body.

6. Realize that anger never fixes anything, it always makes things worse. Will my anger with my computer help me to fix it? No!

Honey’s Bonus Tip:

Forgiveness can go a long way toward relieving anger. If you’re holding onto something, I recommend reading the book, Ho’oponopono: The Hawaiian Ritual of Forgiveness. “Ho’oponopono” means “restoring the divine order.” It’s one of my favorites and I keep it nearby so that I can reference it when I need a positive bump.

My Ultimate Example

My ultimate concierge is the ultimate example of having healthy emotional habits. I watch him maneuver through the day and I marvel at his tenacity. If he is having trouble working Netflix, he will sit with that clicker until he corrects the problem. I listen to his contentious, though never angry, phone calls where he uses utter self-control.

When I ask him how he manages to be in control he says, “I learned ways to be emotionally in control. I learned the hard way that if I let my anger overshadow my thinking I would lose my position in whatever I am doing.”

It is my observation that women have more problems with anger management. I have noticed that there are two types of anger in women, though there are probably more. The volatile woman erupts, gets it off her mind and moves on. The quiet woman carries her anger, but lets you know how she is feeling through her actions. Both forms are very detrimental to a person’s health.

I suggest, dear readers, we learn a lesson in anger management from the American Airlines pilot. I am sure he took time out, weighed his words and made an announcement that would relieve all 200 passengers of their anger and replace the negative and harmful emotion with gratitude—they would arrive in Palm Springs that day.